it's all beeyooteefool -

October 11, 2006

@10:03 PM

two and a half hours left towards liberation;

today after the practical exam which is now a gone case and im hoping to just pass, i had the sudden impulse to stop learning the piano because the way i played and let my nervousness take over my fingers is insulting not only to the composers but also to the listeners ( in this case mrs ee and mr lim), to the piano, and to all other people who are much more capable than i am.

ALENA WAN WHEN THE HECK ARE YOU GOING TO LEARN TO LOOK FAILURE IN THE EYE AND ACCEPT DEFEAT GRACIOUSLY?!

it's typical of me to blame everything on carelessness, people, nerves, un-conducive environments, etc. it's about time i learn to see that when i fail, the only one i can hold responsible is myself. therefore ...

post exam resolutions

1. practice piano 1 hr 45 minutes a day (if i play any later, the neighbours will hunt me down with parangs)

2. practice guzheng at least 5 hours a week.

3. practice bass clarinet with a vengeance!

4. get more involved in church somehow

5. figure out how to teach a 9 year old how to play piano

6. read both chinese and english papers like i would read a chinese compre during exams.

7. read qingnianwenzhai and chinese periodicals, chinese olevels next year!

8. more community service, must get rid of that arrogant et selfish streak in me

9. learn how to cook before going for rcip. YES I VERY SPOILT LARH DONT KNOW HOW TO COOK.

10. go and regain my long lost tennis skills. not that i had a lot in the first place, but at least i had SOME. now they're nonexistent once more. oh yeah, restring my racquet.

11. not to go out more than one day a week.

12. go to music essentials and SPLURGE. well, that isnt much of a good resolution it's just a want.

13. go see a doctor about my sinus.

14. spend more time in the esplanade library (LOVE!) which im certain is the most conducive library in singapore. beats even the natlib okay!

15. be less antisocial and less eccentric and less temperamental and less urgh.

16. watch WORLD TRADE CENTRE! and notre dame di paris! and phantom of the opera which is coming in march! and remember to go order tix for the 5 sso concerts i want to attend.

-

optimism has returned slightly, so back to figuring out the difference between a2 and divisi. grrsh.

& i embraced the world;